There are many reasons why I decided to develop this organization. I’m sure that women who have gone through the divorce process can relate. When "you" are the one facing divorce, there are so many unknowns.
For some women it’s a shock and they may not know where to turn. Divorce can be a devastating blow to your self-esteem, especially when you never saw it coming. You feel like a failure.
It is normal for women going through the transition of separation and divorce to feel disconnected. She may experience a sense of losing her identity. She is faced with the reality that she won’t be Mrs. So-and-so anymore, and for some women it’s hard to develop an identity of her own because she may not know who she is anymore.
As a child, I watched my mother go through a horrible divorce. Horrible for her, but not so for my father. She was the stay-at-home-mom, and he was the upstanding minister and business owner in the community. To this day, I still have vivid memories of the fighting that took place between my parents.
I remember my father ripping all of the phones out of the wall so that my mother wouldn’t have any way of calling anyone if we needed anything, taking the keys to the car so that we wouldn’t have any transportation, although at the time we lived deep in the county and our nearest neighbors were a few miles away.
My father wanted to leave my mom with nothing. He ripped away her self-esteem and "she" was the laughing stock, because he had begun a relationship with a woman who was a member of his church. I still remember my mom begging my father not to leave us, even when "she" was humiliated because of "his" adultery. Yet she was still willing to fight to save her marriage because that's how she was raised.
Her epiphany . . . after fourteen years of marriage, he was leaving her with nothing. Yet through it all, even though she had nothing, she had to remain strong because of her four children.
Since marrying my father at the age of 18, my mom had never worked outside the home. She was a stay-at-home mom. Her job was taking care of her children, her husband and her home. She had no formal education and no marketable skills, which made entering into the work force for the first time at the age of thirty practically impossible. Because of her lack of skills, she was forced to take a job in a sewing factory for less than minimum wages.
In many cases, divorce forces you to become self-sufficient, to learn new ways of survival, especially if there are children involved. But some women don’t know where to start, so they crack under the pressure.
There are so many women locked away in prison today because they didn’t know how to begin the process of restructuring their lives. These women felt that the only way out was to eliminate the source of their problems, their significant other.
I know, because at one point in my life, I was this woman. When you actually not only consider taking another person’s life but actually follow through on it, there is a serious emotional problem. In my case, I felt I had no way out. He had taken everything from me. My job, my independence, my friends, even my family and ultimately, my LIFE! But in the end, all I wanted was my freedom, not the car, not the house. I just wanted him to let me go and he wasn’t even willing to give me that, so I felt I had to take it! He chipped away at everything that I was, slowly placing me into a box. In my mind, the only way I could truly survive was for him to die.
I thank God every day that only by His grace alone saved him, and in turn, saved me.
Still, I was so desperate for freedom that I ultimately left my home with nothing but the clothes on my back. And because I left, he wanted to make me pay. During the divorce, I was no match for his money and power. He had a top notch attorney and because I was unemployed, I was unable to obtain adequate legal representation. I did, however, manage to scrape together the $500.00 retainer for someone to represent me.
But my ordeal didn't end with my divorce...
My ex-husband, not accustomed to being rejected, continued to harass me, follow me, and stalk me.
I was stressed, my health was going bad and a few months after the divorce, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. You would think that this would end my nightmare with my ex, but it was only just beginning. By some oversight of my ex's employer, they had never dropped me from his health insurance policy. My ex decided to use this oversight to his benefit and decided to blackmail me by saying "If you don't remarry me, I will cancel your health insurance and I don't care if you die!"
Faced with the knowledge that if I didn't get adequate medical treatment soon, I could die; but I continued to hold on to my faith in God. Knowing that He would work it out, and He did!
Today, I am eight years cancer free, I have peace in my life, and I am a living testimony for Epiphany of Life!
I created Epiphany of Life to provide emotional support for women in hopes of keeping them from making bad decisions based off their current emotional instability caused by the trauma of divorce. To let them know that they are not alone, there is a world full of sisters out here who have not only been there, but we’ve got your back. Whether you need a shoulder to cry on at 3am, a place to stay, or financial assistance for legal representation, housing, food, and educational training to prepare for re-entry into the work force. Whatever your needs may be, WE’VE got your back! Women are strong, resilient and what doesn't kill us can only make us stronger!
I was motivated to create Epiphany of Life, as a result of my mother's experience, my experiences, and the experiences of women universally who have experienced the unexpected, sense of loss and inadequacy associated with separation and divorce.
Epiphany of Life is still in the developmental stages and we need your help!
If you would like to contribute or become a part of this great organization, please contact Glenda Wallace @ glendawallace@glendawallace.com
If you would like to donate, please use the Paypal link below or go to our
"Donate" page for additional donation options!
Thank you for your support!
Epiphany of Life...
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